Acting my age

Is this the start of my Golden Girls era?

It’s my birthday today. I’m 52. It’s peculiar to write that down because I don’t feel 52. But then, I’m not sure I know what 52 should feel like. I don’t even know how 52 should behave. And I definitely don’t know what 52 should look like.

Do you?

I used to have fairly clear ideas about getting older, and what it looked (and felt) like. Like most kids, I thought anyone over the age of 20 was entirely grown-up; by 40 they were ancient. From time to time my mum tells me she’s bumped into someone I haven’t seen for decades: my long-suffering driving instructor, a primary school dinner lady, a favourite teacher. I’m always surprised to hear that they’re still alive – even more surprised to discover that some of them are only in their early 70s, which means they were barely in their 40s when I knew them. That means they were an entire decade younger than I am now but, to me, they were already old. 

Back in the 80s, I remember watching The Golden Girls. In case you’re not familiar, it was a popular sitcom about four ‘older ladies’ who lived together in Miami without husbands or dependent children – although Sophia and Dorothy were mother and daughter. They all had dating adventures, ate a lot of cheesecake, laughed a lot and had careers: Dorothy was a teacher, Blanche worked at a museum, Rose was a grief counsellor, and Sophia tried her hand at all sorts of things, from being a volunteer nurse, to a pizza stand owner and an activities director for a retirement home. 

The Golden Girls was funny, but most of the humour came from the understanding we were watching a group of cute old ladies saying outrageous things and refusing to act their age. Their elasticated slacks, floaty scarves, granny perms and cardigans were a dead giveaway and Sophia, the eldest of the four, told endless, convoluted stories about the past – surely the ultimate marker of decrepitude.

So it has blown my mind to discover that The Golden Girls weren’t even old. Blanche was meant to be 53 – just a year older than me. Rose and Dorothy were 55. Sophia was the only character who was officially post-retirement age: she was 79. 

I think we can all agree that, in 2025, being 52 doesn’t look anything like it did in 1985. 

There’s been much written about the 2025 equivalent to The Golden Girls. Today, we have And Just Like That, the midlife follow-up to Sex and the City, with Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and (if we’re lucky) Samantha continuing to kick up their heels in New York. When the new season hits our screens later this year, most of the cast will be older than Blanche, Rose and Dorothy: Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristin Davis have both just turned 60, Cynthia Nixon is about to turn 59, and Kim Cattrall, should she make another appearance, is 68. Aside from a few more overt signifiers of wealth and success, they don’t behave, dress, or look much different to their 90s incarnations – and they’re not the only ones. 

Today’s A-List  ‘Golden Girls’ might be around the same age – if not older – than the 1980s originals, but that’s where the similarity ends. There’s Demi Moore, 62, who was nominated for the Best Actress Awards at this year’s Oscars for her performance in The Substance, and won both a Golden Globe and a SAG Award. Nicole Kidman, 57, is rarely off our screens thanks to her role in Babygirl, and TV dramas including The Perfect Couple, A Family Affair and Holland. The list goes on and on: Jennifer Aniston is 56, Elizabeth Hurley is 59, Michelle Yeoh is 62, Gwyneth Paltrow is 52, Vanessa Williams is 62, Renée Zellweger, Cate Blanchett and Pamela Anderson are all 55. All successful, all powerful, all at the top of their game – and increasingly playing the love interest of men half their age. There’s not a cardigan or floaty scarf in sight. In fact, both Demi Moore and Nicole Kidman have both appeared naked on screen this year. You wouldn’t catch The Golden Girls doing that.

Admittedly, these women are no more relatable now than they were in their 20s or 30s – they were impossibly beautiful, slender and glamorous then, and they still are today. They have an army of trainers, nutritionists, aestheticians, stylists and make-up artists on hand to keep them that way. And you don’t have to have seen The Substance to know that this all comes at a hefty cost - emotionally, psychologically and financially.

But when I look around me, at friends, acquaintances and former colleagues – not to mention the 60-something women I see powerlifting at the gym – it’s obvious that the rest of us are ageing differently, too. From the way we dress, to the things we do and talk about, we’re becoming increasingly ageless. It’s getting harder to guess how old we are, not just because of the way we look, but because of the way we act. I have friends of all ages, from their teens and 20s, to their 70s and beyond. We watch the same TV, listen to the same music, read the same books, wear the same clothes. The generational divides of the past are melting away.

A decade ago, it was common to hear women talking about becoming ‘invisible’ after they turned 40, but I seldom hear that any more – and it certainly hasn’t been my experience. In fact, I’d say that women my age have become increasingly visible – not to mention vocal. Inspired by the honesty of women like the actor Naomi Watts, and her intimate conversations about the menopause, or best-selling writers like Bonnie Garmus, who wrote her debut novel, Lessons in Chemistry at the age of 65, and the raft of films and TV shows putting midlife women like Pamela Anderson back in the spotlight, we have no intention of slowing down or stepping back – especially now that age and experience have given us the confidence to grab opportunities that come our way. 

It’s true that time speeds up as you age, which could be why women over 50 are increasingly bold. Some of us have learned the hard way that there’s no time to waste, so we might as well go after what we want – whether that’s a new career, a new look, new love or a new life.

And it’s precisely this attitude, I think, that’s the key to saying young. I’d say It’s even more effective than botox or dermal filler because it’s all about focusing on the future, not clinging to the past or staying frozen in the present.

Admittedly, I’m not thrilled about what’s happening to my neck, and I’m not delighted by my under eye area, but I don’t want to be embarrassed about my wrinkles or waste time and money trying to look younger than I am. In fact, I’m not interested in my life – or my face – staying the same because, as with all the best dramas, I’m too curious to find out what happens next.

So, at 52, I’m more than ready to turn the page and start another new chapter. 

Hopefully the future is bright. 

With a bit of luck, it might even be Golden.