Faking it

Are you sure you want what she’s having?

A couple of weeks ago I went to see Babygirl, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. 

Most of the buzz around the film has centered on sex, specifically the sex that Nicole Kidman’s character, Romy, has with her 28 year-old intern, Samuel, played by Harris Dickinson. 

It’s true, there is a lot a sex – and, as Kidman herself puts it, a lot of “grunting.” The film starts with Kidman faking an orgasm, and the ensuing action is evenly split between boardroom and bedroom. 

But, for me, the sex was a minor aspect of a bigger story about how many women are secretly ‘faking it’ in many areas of their lives, and how this manifests in our attitude to power, control and keeping up appearances. Is our inability to admit what we really want – or show any sign of weakness, unhappiness, unfulfillment or failure – what binds us to a situation that no longer serves us or makes us happy?

Kidman’s character, Romy, is the CEO of a robotics company. She’s been married to Jacob, a theatre director, for 19 years. They have two teenage daughters – and a seemingly perfect life. 

But, despite her outward success, Romy’s not happy. In fact, she’s been faking it for her entire marriage. She spends almost every waking hour replying to emails, and much of her ‘downtime’ maintaining her youthful appearance, which we discover via a hectic montage of cryotherapy, intense workouts, Pilates and Botox – a bold move for Kidman whose face has been subject to relentless scrutiny. In one scene, her teenage daughter asks: “Why do you do that to yourself? You look weird, like a dead fish.” Notably, these are all criticisms that have been levelled at Kidman (and almost every other female A-Lister) in recent years. 

But post-Botox bruises are the least of Romy’s problems. We see her undergoing EDMR therapy to process her childhood trauma, after growing up in a cult. She’s spent her adult life in pursuit of perfection. She’s always in control. She’s a robot. 

Then, along comes a hot intern with a pocketful of dog treats, and she burns the whole thing down in pursuit of something that feels more ‘real.’